Wait for the cue — Ranger Holly

A few weeks ago, I went to my first Bikram yoga class with my dear friend Sadie. It turns out that Sadie really enjoys a vigorous Sunday morning workout. I am not wholly against that, but I would probably go more for a vigorous Sunday morning dance around my kitchen with Buttercup.

I admire Sadie’s tenacity, so I agreed to go to a 9:45 a.m. Bikram class with her. Now, I could just skip some details and tell you what I learned but that wouldn’t be funny or even interesting.

The night before, I went out with a couple of girlfriends to a country bar, inspired by my recently acquired affinity for country music. We had so much fun dancing to what probably amounted to one country song and a slew of late ’90s and early 2000s songs. And when White Snake’s “Here I go again” came on, I about lost my mind out of pure joy.

So, how should I put the rest of this… our exuberance overtook us and we might have overdone it a tad.

I probably got home around 2:30 a.m. and there was salsa on my sheets in the morning, so, I think you get the picture. Let’s move on.

The next morning, I was hurting. I get to the yoga studio and I’m talking to the teacher who is registering me for the class and she says that for my first class my only goal is to stay in the room. Ha, OK, I’ve been an athlete my entire life… shouldn’t be THAT hard to stay in the room.

If you have done the quick math, I got about five hours of sleep and I hadn’t treated my body very well the night before. I got about maybe 20 minutes in before I just decided I needed to lie on my mat and sweat profusely in the 100 degree heat and 45 percent humidity.

This was uncomfortable for several reasons. One, because in a room full of people, I’m lying there like a deflated slug. Two, because I was awash in the result of some poor decision making. Three, because I’m a perfectionist and I definitely don’t want anyone seeing me struggle. And, I have my yoga teacher certification, so I mean, on a normal day I would have been able to do this.

However, I always go into every yoga class knowing it is going to be the perfect experience for wherever I am at in my life. This was especially true that day. The teacher said so many things that I really needed to hear. One thing she said really struck me. She asked the class, “Can you be patient and wait for the cue?”

That was everything to me. I have been in this time of transition and wondering what is coming next and when. Constantly asking myself, “Am I doing this right? I need to get to the next thing, did I do everything I need to do to get there?” Basically, driving myself nuts trying to predict what is to come. The waiting was causing me paralysis. I didn’t know what direction to take or if I was supposed to take any action. I was WTF-ing it every day.

When the teacher asked that question, it was like a lightning bolt. Patience. My nemesis. The time has arrived to really learn patience. I had been willfully ignoring this lesson. Having a little patience here or there but mostly the next thing has always arrived to me so quickly that patience was always short lived. I suppose I couldn’t get away with that forever.

While I wait for the cue, I wait powerfully. I am making waiting the most fun part of the journey. I am waiting for that cue, which will come in the perfect time. I don’t need to struggle or grasp for it. The cue will arrive and it will be so obvious that I won’t miss it.

Because, really, before life changes, how many kitchen dances with Buttercup do I have? How many phone calls home do I have? How many late nights with my friends do I have? How many concerts? Lazy mornings? How many bouts of side-splitting laughter? Eating pita chips and hummus in bed?

I have no idea, but I will be damned if I am going to get to the next phase of life and have to say, “Oh I wish I had done that when I had the time.” The time is right here, right now.

I am adding learning patience to my 2019 goals. The BIG kind of patience. The patience that will make me more loving, more grateful, more faithful and more trusting in the Universe than I have ever been before.